LINK THE DELINQUENT ELF

Hi, My name is Link.I'm an elf. Not one of your Royal Elves, more of a common elf that exist to make the Royalty and Elite Elves comfortable. They do like their comforts. I was born near Rivendell to oridinary parents. We were poor and Dad had to get work as a garden gnome sometimes, endlessly fishing in an empty concrete pond. We moved to Rivendell as soon as I was big enough to to earn some money. At first as a kitchen boy. To anyone that says cutting up onions makes you cry, I'll say that they've never been hit in the face by a turnip ! As I grew I moved on to the stables which was a big improvement. Apart from basic learning (all elves are taught reading, writing etc) my education was completed by observing how The Chief Elf's stallion was put to work on the mares.  I was told I was very handsome (some said pretty) and I started to attract the attention of older and better placed elves. Curiosity soon led to "experiences" and I was elevated to page boy status. Many presents were offered (and some accepted) and pretty soon my nights were as busy as my days. I was often asked to "attend" to the needs of the many important guests who arrived at Rivendell. Life was good and the prospect of being drafted as a cadet in the 3rd battalion, 85th Elvish Light Infantry (Elron's Own) pleased me greatly. Then ... it all went horribly wrong. The talk was all of this grotty little hobbit and his ring. Everyone was speculating so I asked him if I could touch it (and proffered a cleanish finger for starters). Well !!!  The "do-do" hit the fan big time and I was deep in it, as everyone else had ducked ! He made such a fuss that I was hauled in front of the Council of Chief Elves. I maintained that it was all a mis-understanding and that my finger didn't go that far into his ring ayway. No one believed a word I said. Bloody hobbits ... seem to be a protected race. The long and the short of it is that I was banished from Rivendell and the nearby forests. Cast out forthwith, with nothing but the meagre clothes I stood in and my simple possessions consisting of a sword, dagger and bow (and a small amount of cash that they didn't know about). Off I went, ignorant of the outside world. An innocent (cough) in a dangerous world. This is the story of my mis-adventures . Oh, I hear you ask, why was I banished ? The official parchment stated "Inappropriate behaviour, in public, with a hobbit and his ring" I ask you ... how bloody embarrassing ... the shame will be with me forever. A HOBBIT !!!!!!

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